Your Poop Color Predicts the Future

Your Poop Color Predicts the Future

The color of your poop can predict the future.

 

It has long been known that your body has ways to warn you about the future. But only recently have scientists discovered a very simple way to predict your future at home.

 

Use this color guide to determine your fate.

 

Black:

You will die in 3 hours.

 

Brown with Red Spots:

That chocolate you ate last night at the movies was laced with cocaine and methamphetamine.  You are going to be feeling really crappy for a few more days. Also - never go to another Adam Sandler movie. 

 

Green with Yellow Streaks:

Of course the Starbucks barista knows your name; he's just messing with you.  The next time he says "remind me of your name again" punch him in the face.

 

Blue:

Your boss knows about the office supplies you sneak out in your lunch bag. If you return them quickly you may be able to save your job.

 

Dark Red with White Spots:

The man who lives upstairs is planning on killing you next weekend. It might be a good time to take that trip to Boise you've been talking about.

 

Orange:

You are going to win the Lottery in Mexico. You will use the winnings to pay off a couple of old parking tickets.

 

Clear:

Gross. What did you eat?

 

Lavender:

You will be mistaken for a celebrity in the mall. Just smile and sign the man's chest.

 

Rainbow Pellets:

You've eaten too many Skittles.

 

 

Photo Credit: Bonita Suraputra

 

  • Archie Ferris
  • potty, fortune teller, color wheel, Hangry
author

About Archie Ferris

A man who likes the finer things in life, like Cool Ranch Doritos and a guilt free box of donuts. Archie travels the world in search of "Foodie Perfection" and when he can't find that - he eats his feelings.
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